Alfred Goes On Vacation

You may notice the above title of this blog post. If you haven’t, why then, read it now. Ok? Thankee kindly.


Ok, did you read that? Good. Alright, because the blog post really isn’t about what Alfred did on vacation. It’s about what happened at home while Alfred was gone. And, well, his name isn’t really Alfred. That’s been changed to protect the guilty.

*very innocent look*

Basically, Alfred had been working hard all summer. Come September, Alfred was worn out and thought he needed a vacation. So he talked to the people he worked for, and they said, “Sure, Alfred! You’ve worked hard, go take a vacation and have fun. Take as much time as you want.”

Alfred nodded gratefully and would have kissed the feet of his employers, except that not only was kissing feet not a generally recognized custom of deepfelt thanks in the United States, but their feet were also kinda dirty. So Alfred abstained, said thank you, and began packing and buying plane tickets and bus tickets and all those kinds of things.

Of course, he’d planned ahead for this for about a month, but the month passed eventually and August 29th came and Alfred took off to the eastern parts of the continent, there to remain for a couple weeks.

He had, of course, cleaned up the house a bit before he left.

And he turned off his refrigerator, and unplugged the power to his house so that chipmunks and mice and the lesser alternating bidoca would not chew through the lines and cause fiery disruption to his humble abode.

He took mayonnaise and cheese and other perishables from his refrigerator and carted them to his folks’ house where they would find more comfortable temperatures then were likely to ensue inside his unplugged fridge over the next couple weeks.

Alfred enjoyed traveling. He was good at it. He saw lots of countryside, he met and visited many people, he had a fun time. And he didn’t give a thought as to what might be happening back at home.

But all vacations have to end at some point, and Alfred’s ended after a couple weeks. As soon as he got back, he found himself entrenched again in work. And Alfred forgot he’d stored food at his folks’ place.

Alfred wasn’t much for making or eating food. And he didn’t get around to resupplying his larder, or even thinking about his empty larder, for about two more weeks.

And then,

one day,

Alfred opened his refrigerator.


And saw what happens when you leave stuff in your refrigerator, shut the door, and leave it for a month.

I’m sure there were probably some valuable strains of penicillin in there that would cure cancer or something but I didn’t take the time to investigate it. After a couple more weeks of putting it off, I cleaned the refrigerator out.

(For Alfred, of course, for Alfred)

*very very innocent look*

P.S. If you want to know how my vacation…I mean, Alfred’s vacation went, you’ll just have to wait and see if I am nice enough to do more blog posts on said subjects. You could email me, but my email is currently non-existent due to previously unforeseen conditions, so you’ll just have to wait unless you are one of those lucky people on HSA who can message me there. And yes, Bob, (again, named changed to protect the guilty) I KNOW you and 72.3456789% of everybody else I know thinks I should get on Farcebook, excuse me; I mean Fakebook, excuse me again, I mean Facebook; and I know that probably once I get my new blog up and running I might lower myself to join the masses but as of yet I have managed to remain unscathed. 😛

P.P.S. I know y’all would like more pictures too of everything; someday, someday. Patience, Quincy.

4 thoughts on “Alfred Goes On Vacation

  1. Didn’t know you had a refrigerator! That is terrible! Love your writing! Love you!

  2. Cari (the writing maiden) October 22, 2015 — 7:35 AM

    That’s disgusting. 😛

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